When I first learned about this my mind was blown. Suddenly all of my relationships started to make more sense.
You need to read this if you want to improve communication in your relationships.
There are two different types of thought processors…verbal and non-verbal.
“What?? Not everyone is exactly like me?”
Verbal processors speak to clarify thoughts.
Non-verbal processors think before they speak.
Note: if you have ever been told to think before you speak, and it frustrated the crap out you, now you know why.
Verbal processors are generally extroverted.
Non-verbal processors are generally introverted.
A verbal processor is frustrated because people around them don’t quickly engage in conversation.
A non-verbal processor is frustrated because people around them are always changing their minds.
If you are married, you are one of these and your spouse is the other. Sometimes you drive your spouse crazy and you can’t even help it.
I have 7,000 new ideas every day. I think they are all great. I tell my wife about one. She hears it as, this is something Scott wants to do. The next day, I don’t even remember what I said, and she is busy planning the next steps in her mind. Frustration ensues. (Sweetie if you are reading this, it is completely my fault. You are perfect, and I love you.)
Here is the thing. This frustration can be avoided.
Verbal people. Preface your ideas with this. “This is just an idea, and not something I have completely thought out yet…”
Non-verbal people. Ask, “Is this something you are planning, or are you just thinking about it?” Also, this is very helpful when you are asked a question you don’t know how to answer yet. “I am not sure how to answer this. Let me think about it.”
The big takeaway is know other people process thoughts differently than you. If you do this, you won’t be as frustrated in your communication.