Moving

I am inspired by people who are not caught up in what people think.

I am not one of those people. I try to be, but I can’t help it. So much of what I do is done through the lens of, “Will people think I am awesome if I do this?”

If I think the answer is yes, I am probably wrong…and vice versa.

Yet, some of the most rewarding experiences of my life are the ones where I forgot about my desire to be admired and just lived. Still, I fall back into old habits.

I tell my kids all of the time that the people they think are cool on YouTube and TV and everywhere else, were most likely not thought of that way as kids. They were the “weird” ones. They didn’t fit in. They had interests that others did not have. They didn’t act the way everyone was supposed to act according to the current version of adolescent culture.

And yet they are admired, and probably not because they strive to be.

I don’t know. Maybe I am wrong about this, but I just want my life to be more about what is good instead of what gets me admiration.

Another area this kills me is taking risk. I have this feeling that if I can’t be great at something…if it’s not the best, I don’t want to even try it.

Take podcasting for example. I started a podcast through the Anchor app, and stopped when I got busy and missed one day. I have not picked it up since.

Why? Because I felt like a failure and starting again makes me come to terms with that.

But here is the deal. It doesn’t matter if it’s consistent. I should just create an episode when I feel like it and don’t do it when I don’t. It’s simple.

What’s more we would not even have a company podcast if one of my employees didn’t keep pushing for it. Why did I not want to do it? I was worried it wouldn’t be good enough. Is it good enough? Not yet. But it will be good in the future.

I fail. All the time. But I have to get over the fact that it doesn’t mean I can’t pick up and start again.

P.S. Hat tip to my wife who picked up Jon Acuff’s latest book, Finish, for me today the Orange Conference. It’s the inspiration of this post. Chapter 1 is about this exact topic.