It’s a quiet Saturday morning at the Reyes house. If you know our family, you know this is a rare occurrence. We may be known for several things, but being quiet is not one of them.
My wife and I have been running at a pretty fast pace for the last year. She home schools our 4 sons which is a full time job in itself. Plus, she mentors young mothers. I run a startup company. The boys play sports. The house needs to be cared for. We have more laundry than you can imagine. Seriously, the last time I folded clothes there were 27 dryer sheets left where the pile of clothes had been. There is always something to do, and there is always noise.
We are both very ambitious people who can vividly see our future. We both work hard towards our goals. We are both very supportive of each other.
Braque and I were 19 years old when we found out we were going to be parents. It was scary. I look at 18 and 19 year old kids today and realize why our parents were so freaked out by our situation.
Fortunately for us, we made some really great decisions from the start of our relationship. The 2 most impactful decisions is are we would always…
…be on the same team.
No one taught this to us, and I still remember where we were when we made this decision.
There is this amazing neighborhood in Cumming, GA called The Vickery. We were driving around there one Saturday looking at all of these beautiful houses when one in particular made me stop in the middle of the road.
We were 2 broke kids. We worked at a restaurant. We were college dropouts. We were pregnant. People thought we were naive and foolish to be playing house like we were. Everything about our situation stacked the odds against us.
Braque turned and asked me if she thought we would ever have a house like that. I told her that without a doubt we would.
We sat right there in our beat up car in the middle of a fancy neighborhood dreaming about how our life would be in 10 years. We talked about where we would be living and how many kids we would have…she wanted 4 (smh). I told her I would have my own company, and that we would be in a position to help people that were going through what we were going through.
We work really hard as a team to make our life the one we dreamed up back then.
Fast forward 12 years. We may not have a $750,000 designer home in The Vickery, but everything else came true. We have 4 kids. I have my company. She volunteers with young moms. And…we haven’t stopped dreaming.
Dreaming together forces conversation. It makes you vulnerable because dreams are emotional. It makes you realize you are 2 different people because…well…you are 2 different people. Dreams open your mind up to possibility and connect you with a better future. It also forces you to open your mind to compromise, which brings me to the next part.
Being on the same team is important because it reminds you that you are working towards the same goals. Some of these goals are yours. Some are theirs. But because you are on the same team, they belong to both of you. Decide what dreams you are going after, and then relentlessly stay on the same team.
Finally, when things get tough, create some space. Remove yourselves from your normal pace and get reconnected. Remind yourselves why you do what you do. Make changes if needed. Most importantly, get back on the same team.
The boys went to Grandma’s last night so we could have some quiet time to hang out, talk, and rest. Hence the rare quiet Saturday morning. Thanks Mom!
I love my wife more each day, and I can’t wait to see how the next 10 years unfold.