The Intentional Community: Building Friendship Through Action
How to make friends in a new place.
It feels silly to be a 40-year-old man and say out loud to a room full of guys that I wish I had more friends. But it’s true, and it’s exactly what I did.
A year ago, I moved to Chattanooga—a place I’d fallen in love with over a decade earlier—drawn here by its mountains, trails, vibrant downtown, and potential. I envisioned myself surrounded by people who share my passion for the outdoors, who love building new things, who appreciate the beginnings of ideas, and who seek opportunities to improve their community.
But a year passed. While my business grew and my family thrived, I found myself mostly unchanged: still working, still running and climbing solo, and still not experiencing the sense of community I had imagined. Friendships were not materializing on their own.
Life doesn’t come to you. If you want something—whatever it is—you have to put yourself out there, intentionally. I’d been passively hoping that like-minded people would somehow show up and invite me into their circles. But life doesn’t work that way. If you want something—anything—you have to put yourself out there, intentionally. I needed to stop waiting and start acting, even if it meant doing something uncomfortable.
So, along with a friend, I decided to create Whiskey & PowerPoints—an evening of hanging out, where three people each give a 15-minute presentation on a topic they’re obsessed with, followed by conversation. To be honest, I worried no one would show up. Or worse—that they’d show up and think the whole thing was stupid.
Instead, what happened was incredible.
Almost everyone we invited came. They didn’t just attend—they immediately connected. People said things like, “The moment I heard about this, I knew it was something I’d been missing,” and, “I can’t wait for the next one. I know exactly who I want to invite.” What felt like a risk—putting myself out there with an untested idea—became the very thing that helped me with my quest to make new friends in a new city. It turns out I wasn’t the only one waiting for someone to invite me into a group.
The format itself wasn’t magic—what mattered was that I finally did something—anything—to create the community I wanted instead of waiting for it to find me. The simple act of extending invitations, of saying, “I want to connect,” was what made the difference.
I learned something powerful: confidence doesn’t just come from waiting for opportunities—it comes from creating them. It’s built by doing hard, meaningful things on purpose. This is true whether you’re pulling yourself up a boulder, grinding out a trail run, or putting yourself out there in a new city.
This experience crystallized what I want this newsletter to be about: the power of breaking inertia. Of choosing action over waiting. Of recognizing when you’re stuck in a pattern of hoping instead of doing. Because that’s where I was—waiting for community to happen to me for an entire year when I could have created it at any time.
Chattanooga isn’t just the place where I live. It’s my muse and my proving ground. It’s where I run, climb, think, and build. Where I’m raising my six sons in the hopes that they absorb this place, its culture, and its energy. It’s my backdrop and my catalyst, a city full of potential waiting to be unlocked.
If you’re reading this and feeling like you missed out on something—good. You’re exactly the type of person I want to know. If you’re in Chattanooga, hit me up. If you’re not, ask yourself what you’ve been waiting for someone else to start. Then start it yourself.
Don’t wait. Do something.
Because confidence comes from doing.
Action over comfort.